The 'Sweet' Problem: A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Sugar with Kids (Without Power Struggles)

It’s a scene familiar to almost every parent: your child is demanding sweets, and you’re caught between wanting to give them a treat and knowing you should limit their sugar. This can quickly escalate into a full-blown power struggle, leaving everyone feeling frustrated.

We know that excessive sugar impacts our children’s health, from their mood and concentration to their long-term well-being. But banning it completely often backfires, creating obsession, secret eating, and a battlefield at the dinner table.

So, how do we find the middle ground? The solution lies not in stricter rules, but in a smarter, more compassionate approach focused on building a healthy, lifelong relationship with food.

Change Your Language: Ditch ‘Good vs. Bad’

The first step is to remove morality from food. When we label foods as "good" or "bad," we attach feelings of virtue or guilt to eating them. For a child, being told they can’t have a "bad" food only makes it more mysterious and desirable.

Instead, use neutral language.

✅ Try using terms like:

• ‘Everyday’ foods and ‘Sometimes’ foods. This teaches frequency, not morality.

• ‘Growing’ foods and ‘Treat’ foods. This explains their function in the body.

This simple shift removes the shame and helps children understand that all foods can fit into a balanced life, but some are for nourishing our bodies daily, while others are for special occasions.

You’re the ‘What’, They’re the ‘How Much’

One of the most effective ways to end mealtime battles is to follow the Division of Responsibility in feeding. It’s a simple but powerful concept:

• The Parent’s job: You decide WHAT food is offered, WHEN it’s offered, and WHERE it’s eaten.

• The Child’s job: They decide WHETHER to eat from what is offered, and HOW MUCH of it to eat.

This means you control the quality of the food that comes into the house. You offer a balanced meal and a healthy snack at set times. But you must trust your child to listen to their own hunger and fullness cues. When a child feels trusted and in control of their own body, their anxiety around food decreases, and so do the power struggles.

Focus on Crowding Out, Not Cutting Out

Instead of obsessing over what to remove, focus on what you can add. A child who is well-nourished with protein, healthy fats, and fibre will have more stable blood sugar and naturally fewer cravings for sugary snacks.

✅ Ensure every meal contains protein and healthy fats to keep them full and satisfied. Think eggs for breakfast, chicken or lentils for lunch, and nuts or seeds for snacks.

✅ Make healthy foods fun and available. Have a bowl of fresh fruit on the counter, keep chopped vegetables with hummus in the fridge, and offer a smoothie packed with spinach and berries.

Smart Strategies for the Day-to-Day

• Read the Labels: Become aware of hidden sugars in everyday foods like breakfast cereals, yoghurts, pasta sauces, and bread. Opt for plain versions where you can and add your own natural sweetness with fruit.

• Rethink the Drink: Juice, squash, and fizzy drinks are major sources of sugar. Make water and milk the default drinks in your home.

• Lead by Example: Your children are watching you. If they see you reaching for fruit as a snack and enjoying a wide variety of healthy foods, they are more likely to do the same. This is part of our amanah (trust) as parents—to model the healthy habits we wish for them to have.

Navigating Parties and Grandparents

It’s impossible to control everything your child eats outside the home, and trying to will only cause more stress. The key is to relax and focus on the big picture. Islam teaches us the principle of moderation and avoiding excess. This applies here perfectly.

• Don't Stress About 'Sometimes': A piece of birthday cake or a treat from a grandparent is not going to ruin their health. Let them enjoy these social rituals without guilt.

• Focus on the 80/20 Rule: What truly matters is what they eat 80% of the time at home with you. If their daily diet is balanced and nourishing, the 20% of treats they have outside the home will have far less impact.

The goal is not to raise a child who never eats sugar. It’s to raise a child who has a neutral, balanced, and joyful relationship with all food—a child who can enjoy a slice of cake at a party and then come home to a nourishing meal without a second thought. That is the true measure of success.